Newest pics. 23 weeks.... almost 6 months.

US Air....

is going to love me this weekend when they find out that I am traveling to Charlottesville with viral Bronchitis. The MD stated it was fine to go but warned that I use hand sanitizer everywhere for the first few days. I have been contagious since at least monday and had to stop my piano students from coming in this week. I love teaching piano, but I am sure my parents and students really appreciate the sentiment. Nevertheless, Jon and I are headed to the great state of VA once again. Jon has a class at the Army JAG school. Last month it was FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) classes in DC. This time I do not know what the classes are but I am glad I get to hang out on the grounds at UVA some. It is a pretty campus and I will shop in Williamsburg at the shops for some more maternity clothing! Yay. And Jon is just excited to get to golf a time when it is not 32 degrees outside. Jon is scheduled in Charlottesville again in April for a week.

You're in Over Your Head.

Well, maybe I should say that I am "Head over Heels" or "Jumping in Feet First". Hum?? I'm not so good with idioms. Anyway- this morning I was thinking of a couple of people we know who are pregnant and then some more who are trying, and it made me think back to when I first fell in love with Calvin. And yes I did say "fell in love". I mean when I first found out we were expecting it was not shocking as we had been hoping to get pregnant, but I did not have any sort of emotional investment,.... I just felt horrible and that's all I could think about.

I have friends who lost babies to miscarriage at 6 weeks pregnant and were totally invested in their child, and of course it was heart wrenching. But if I am honest with myself, that did not come for me until our first ultrasound.

To want to have kids, to be married, to have anything you currently do not have can be very hard to handle. Ask my dad, he knows I understand this truth as well as anyone. But let me tell you,... to think of losing(or not having) these things after they have been entrusted to you can be very hard to even think of. Lord willing, you don't have to.

Well, the day I saw Calvin on that first ultrasound and he jumped from one side of the placental sac to the other,... he had me. Hook. Line. and Sinker. Seeing his sweet little head and arms and especially those long little fingers splayed out for everyone to see. All I could think was: "God, he is beautiful!".

So, this pregnancy for me is not about getting something I didn't have before. It's not about keeping up with a standard... I was happy prior to getting pregnant as well (and without all the symptoms I've had). But this is now about Calvin. God's choice of him and only him to bring into this world at his appointed time only. This child was not a girl, not another boy, but this particular little boy.

What a Sovereign miracle of God's own choosing. I don't deserve him; I didn't earn him; I can't keep him forever; and really he's not "mine" per se. He's God's child entrusted to us for the time God gives him to be under our care. This is really the same with marriage, houses or material possessions, health, friends, wealth, blessings, and all else that crosses this short path towards eternity that we call "Life". All of which ("good" and "not so good" things) lead us to a better understanding of the "forever" which is to come. In the meantime, I have just learned to say "Thank You" to our Good Lord for everything he has brought into my life and trust him with even my(our) sweet little Calvin.

Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow!

So this last week I was tested for Fifths Disease. This is a very common parvovirus that only humans pass on to other humans and is usually spread most often by children at school who pass it around. Evidently it causes no harm to children and shows up in the form of a rash (often called "Slapped Cheek Syndrome" for the way the rash gives the impression of a child who has been slapped on both cheeks) and also flu-like symptoms. If an adult contracts this "disease", it will not hurt them unless they are: 1)pregnant or 2)have a low immune system. In pregnant women it can cause the baby in utero to have severe anemia and in 5% of that population cause fetal demise. So you can see how relieved I must have been when I found out this morning that my blood tests show that I do not have Fifths Disease but rather a strange form of ezcema-like dermatitis. The titers also showed that somewhere in my history I was already exposed to this (likely from another child) and am now immune from getting it at all. Whew!! This was even more relieving to me because while I was waiting in the OB/GYN waiting room, a beautiful mother decided to anounce to the whole waiting room that her son came home yesterday from school with Fifths Disease and the clear "slapped"-like cheek symptom. So- of course, I waited there in misery as I thought of all the mothers who likely walk through the waiting room with children who got it from another child in public school only to pass it along to unsuspecting vulnerable pregnant women who can miscarry their sweet babies because of the lack of discretion on these parents parts. It's unfortunate that most parents have not even heard of this, so I know it's not intentional. Yet, it sure makes me want to rethink drinking out of the public water fountain or hanging out with kids I don't know. I am just glad that I am immune ultimately and do not have to watch out for the kids at church pawing at the after-church refreshments and instead be able to pick them up and give them a big Amy hug. Ah- germs. I hate them.